I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize