Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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