She's JV to your varsity
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Who died my cat blue again?
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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