Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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