fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
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