I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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