I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
