I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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