i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
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