dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
