So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
