If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
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just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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