They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
