also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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