Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
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