Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
