talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Randomize
