How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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