i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Randomize
