Duck Duck Cougar?
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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