You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
