So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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