i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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