I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Randomize
