margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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