It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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