After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
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