Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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