i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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