You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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