Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
