take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Randomize