Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Jerry, you need to find god
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
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WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
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