I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize