Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
people are starting to question the shark bite story
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
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