I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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