Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
