It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
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