he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
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