Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
So squirting runs in the family.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
