Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
