another moral hangover. fuck.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Randomize
