I seem to have left my pride at pride
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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