he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
