ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Randomize
