Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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