i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
honey bunches of taint.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Randomize
