You smell like stripper and shame
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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