I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Did I show you my penis last night?
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
