I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
