and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
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