hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
