i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
