Your dad touched me again.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
