cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?