His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.