If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
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She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
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remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.