I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
worst night to have a conscience
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.